and it hurts that we can't see each other. i'm beyond elated that you're getting better, and i'll pray it stays that way. i love you, too. please stay strong. my happiness is contingent on yours.
i'm in a bad place right now. i can't stop shaking or crying and my razors are all dirty, i can't use them. am i moving? i feel like i am. moving but not going anywhere. i wrote something weird and psychotic the other day.
someone on tumblr asked me if i was a guy or a girl. it was the last thing i needed and i started to cry. bad. hyperventilating. the gender dysphoria has only gotten worse...
i didn't eat yesterday, and so far i've only had an apple. a tumblr friend of mine and i decided we're going to start restricting hard again. it's not really good but i feel like i need to. i wish i was ready to recover but i'm just... not.
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