quiero.

i want. 

i want to be thin. and not just thin, but skeletal... i usually judge everyone that isn't bony, and if they're not bony then they're fat. i'm a fucking awful person.

i keep purging everything. it's scary, how good i'm becoming at it. chug water or soda between bites. soda is better because it breaks down the food further. three fingers, down the throat, until they can't get down any further. puke. puke, and puke again, until the voice in your head says, "good. you're done now."

it used to be that i could just get a little up and that would be fine... but now i have to get everything up. it's been a year since i first started restricting and puking, i can hardly believe it...